Rejection & how to deal with it.

27 July Ayesha Farhad 18 Comments

Rejection is horrible. I can not even tell you how many nights I have spent sprawled on the bathroom floor, trying to get myself back together. Or how many days I have gone without any social contact. The nights were always the hardest. When it is just you all alone with your thoughts haunting you, making sure that your self confidence is at level zero and you just keep picking your phone up to check the phone calls that never came. Or the messages that were written and erased. 
The rejections always started with 'its not you, its me'. In my case, my first ever rejection was 'it is you and not me'. I wanted to turn everything around, move away for the person who cracked me open like a surprise kinder egg, expecting a toy to play around with but just got a sticker. You forget to smile. You forget to initiate any kind of social contact. You forget to exist. 
The series of 'its not you, it is me' came later on in life like a flood. It made me want to cling on to whatever was left. But when the other person wants a complete out, how long can you hold on to? You start looking for a similiar love in people around you and when you do not get the same love, you feel dejected. 
It has been a long time since I have been rejected. God has been ever so kind to me, to give me a family that loves me to no bounds. The first rejection left me in pieces that I could not glue back together even if I wanted to. I wanted to fix the wrong in me. The wrong that was never there in the first place. 
But whatever happens, you either come out stronger or come out weaker than before. I came out stronger. Rejection has made me a stronger person. It has not numbed my heart from the pain completely but I have learned how to get through. I have learned how to smile through the anxiety that is storming in my heart but to keep it ashore. 
The crying, the depression, the panic attacks just do not go away easily. You have to fight to keep them away. My fight consisted of colour and sweat. I took up painting to clear my head from the negativity and exercise to physically drain my body of all the toxins. I forced myself to make friends and to go out with them often, so I was not left alone with my thoughts all the time. I made sure that I bonded with my family. They were the only people that kept me sane without even knowing what I was going through. I let go of all the toxic friends that reminded me of the rejection that used to hover around me.


It is very important to surround yourself with positive thoughts and happy people. The more you think of happy thoughts, the more energetic you are. You slowly feel the depression sailing away from your mind and that feeling is the best you can ever imagine happening to you. 
Another thing that helped me getting over the depression, was connecting myself to God. No matter how cliched it sounds but it did help me to a great extent. If anything, I knew I was relying on someone who would never fail me even if I failed him. Having faith and trust in God is an extremely important part in moving on. 
Smile more more often, do things that make other people happy and you will feel the happiness within you but expect less from the people with whom you do good to. Lower expectations lead to very few disappointments. And do not expect your life to turn around in a day. Fighting for happiness brings tears and smiles and low days but in the end, it is all worth it. Just know that the right person or the right friend will eventually come along and they will stay by your side always only if you keep yourself happy.

18 comments:

  1. Rejection is a sucker, but it doesn’t matter how smart, funny or talented someone is — we'll all experience it at some point. Try and take it as a time to self-reflect not loathe and come out stronger...

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  2. I so agree "everything happens for a reason". I think when something like this happens though, it's okay to mourn about it for a day or so, just to really feel things, instead of pushing it back or worse pretending it never happened. And then after, pick yourself up and move on :)

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  3. Rejection is a hard one yet something that happens to us all. I am sorry you have had such a hard time, I agree though everything does happen for a reason. xx

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  4. This is SO on point! I have had my fair share of rejection - the worst being from my first husband when I was younger and stupider... thought if I hadn't married him, I wouldn't never have met my now husband as he was our wedding co-ordinator... it was months later after my divorce when I bummed into him in a club out with friends and he asked how married life was that we got together... fate at it's best!

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  5. Rejection is always hard to take whether is comes from love, friends or work. Nothing for it but to dust ourselves off and move on :)

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  6. This is s lovely post. I believe everything happens for a reason.

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  7. Oh hun :( reading this made me very sad. Rejection is horrible to deal with and when it all comes at once you do feel like you don't exist. I am going through something similar myself and it is disheartening to say the least but I believe it does make us stronger x Hope you are ok hun

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    1. It definitely does make us stronger! Hope everything goes well on your end!

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  8. We all go through rejection at some point in our lives, but I believe it makes as stronger and it all happens for a reason! :)
    http://lilinhaangel.com/

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  9. You're right it makes us stronger and one of those ways is starting to learn how to deal with rejection. It's part of life in so many instances not only partnerships.
    home and DIY blogger<\a>

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  10. I used to be afraid of rejection but this is definitely unavoidable. I have learned to live my life positively and be resilient.

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  11. I do think everything happens for a reason. I'm glad you have support and feel happier now x

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  12. Sadly rejection is a part of life and it must be suffered to appreciate the good stuff

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  13. Rejection made us stronger and enhances our personality. It's important to see that it's really not about us, or how we are. We can't change other people and if they don't want us, it's not because of what we do, it's because of who they are. It's not personal.

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  14. This was a wonderful read. It's inspired me a lot. I quite often sit in the bathroom crying. I hope you're right in that it makes you stronger! I also need to realise my life won't change over night. Thanks for sharing this. X

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  15. Great post. Everyone experiences it at some point in some form or another and it's okay.

    Jordanne || Thelifeofaglasgowgirl.co.uk

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  16. We all experience rejection differently, for me I am one to cry as if tomorrow will never come and then slowly after I start to let go and be happy in myself. It's not always easy but after some time it passes.

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  17. I do believe everything happens for a reason but rejection is hard to accept and I find it really hard to deal with x

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