Emotionally wrecked with bullying.

1:51:00 PM Ayesha Farhad 22 Comments



Being bullied is the most horrible thing that can happen to a person. It leaves you emotionally wrecked, mentally exhausted and physically weak. I can not believe that I am actually writing about this now. For the most part of my life, I have kept quiet about it, smiled through it and ignored the fact that what happened was plain bullying.

All through middle school and high school, I was bullied to such an extent that the only way I found an out with, was pain. I used to come home from school and find relief in a blade. The teachers at school used to pick favourites and fellow students used to sit together and laugh. At first, I used to think that there was something wrong with me. I blamed my height. I was too short. Then I blamed my colour. I was too dark. Then I blamed my hormones. I had too much acne. Two whole years in high school, I used to run upstairs towards the toilets and used to sit with the cleaner and have my lunch quietly there and wait till the bell rang for the lunch time to be over. I had zero friends. They just did not want to mingle with me. I was the weird girl that everyone laughed at.

My parents were very busy with their lives and I don't blame them. They had more on their plate than they deserved. My siblings were too busy with handling the issues in their lives. So initially I had no one to talk to. I made a few fake email addresses to talk to my class mates but sooner or later they used to find out and I used to become the laughing stock again. Whatever I used to say to any of the class mates, it was circulated around and then made fun of. It was so bad that, when I made a friend in the last year of my high school, that friend never wanted to sit with me in the first place.

Social awkwardness grew. I had anxiety and panic attacks. I only wished for someone to talk to. And when I did find a few friends, my family hated them because I never used to hang out with my family. I had so much to let out that I rebelled and I used to fight with my family ever other day. Slowly and gradually, I started to find solace in books. I used to read every single day. Whatever book I could find, I used to end up reading it.

When I started college, that is when I realised that I had had enough of bullying. I made new friends. I was socially awkward at that time and I had a lot of trouble talking to new people. But I knew, that if it was not now, then it was never. Clichéd, I know. But it did work for me. I had friends of my own. I had people, I could rely on. People I could hang out with and share jokes and be happy with.

I still have a lot of anxiety in me. I get awkward when I have to talk to strangers. But I have been making a change. Instead of emailing or texting for work, I call them. I make sure that I talk. I stammer sometimes but I do talk. I have come a long way from the person I was forced to become and I am happy with what I have achieved.


Step up and recognise bullying. You do not deserve it. No one deserves isolation. No one deserves pain. No one deserves to be called weird and then laughed upon. If you see someone being bullied, help them and talk to them. Because all they really need is someone to talk to. I never had anyone to look up to but I am going to make sure that my children know that I am there with them at every step of them growing up. I am going to make sure, that my children do not become the bullies I had to encounter. So many people lose their lives, their loved ones because of bullying. And bullying just does not take place amongst children. Adult bullying is also very very common.

Talk to people. Get to know them. Not everyone is a bad human being. Help them out if they are being bullied. Helping will cost you nothing but bullying might cost you a life.

22 comments:

  1. I think those being bullied should be given much more support it can be an awful experience. I although think that there should be firm punishments for those bullying others.

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  2. Being bullied is horrible but once you stand up to the bullies, it takes the power off them.

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  3. Well done for talking about what you've been through. So many people will be able to relate to this. It's a topic that we need to talk about more. Ree Love30

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  4. It's so good to see you open up about this. I too was bullied for years until one day I saw red and lashed out, giving one of them a black eye in the process. I don't condone violence but they never came near me again. Sadly now I'm seeing kids call my daughter 'fat' at school so I'm trying to teach her to stand up for herself like my parents taught me. It can be a cruel world but if we stick together we get through the tough times..

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  5. I'm glad you stood up and posted about this, bullying is a terrible thing and nobody deserves it. I think much too little is done, especially in schools, to stop bullying.

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  6. This is really a great subject to write on. Being bullied is can hamper you as an individual on emotional level. It shouldn't be support at all. Strict action should be taken against people who get involved in such activities.

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  7. I'm really sorry to hear that something like that had happened to you. Some people have so many mental problems that they prefer to bully people rather that heal themselves. They found that easier to make themselves feeling better. I think raising awareness of bullying at school and work is really important. In Spain, a 10 years old boy suicide because he didn't want to come back to school :( thanks for sharing your experience x

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  8. Yes, i can relate to this post very well. I was bullied from Grade 1, just because the person didn't like the sound of my laugh. Still today i actually don't laugh that much, i would just smile if it's really funny.

    Later on i was made fun of for the mere fact that i was too white, some even joked that i'm taking a bath in milk. Later on in high school i was also teased that i was too poor for one and on the other i was again to well of. To poor because our car that my father drive was 'the car', since we had to push the car many times, since it didn't always take off immediately or to rich for another group, because others had to take the train and my father drive me to school.

    Even in Uni i didn't fit in and later when i had a class of my own, my colleagues made it so terrible for me that i just had to design. I ended up with depression - twice. Since 2010 i just could take it anymore and i'm basically jobless i work from home are our church Social Media Manager, but they only pay my data cost. I can't handle to work in a group setup of people that would mean that i can't sleep the and i'm so tensed up that i can eat otherwise my digestive system can't function.

    I don't have any friends at all, it's just my parents and one cousin that i actually can chat with.

    My entire life i didn't fit in - i've accepted that. Now i just live day by day.

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  9. I am sorry to read this. I can't imagine how awful this must have been for you :(

    I was always very shy and I never made many friends easy. I think it gets even harder to make friends as you get older...

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  10. Oh my goodness, I am so sorry you suffered this - you are so brave and in sharing your story you will help others. Hugs, Kaz x

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  11. I'm so sorry to hear about it. It's good that you can talk about it though!
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  12. I am sorry you have suffered and you are right, it can take one comment to really affect someone x

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  13. I am sorry to hear you were bullied. I think there are far more resources to help helps kids and adults these days and schools are much more likely to step in and help put a stop to it

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  14. I was bullied quite bad at two schools and I also have social anxiety disorder. I'd never made a link between the two before but I suppose the bullying could have triggered a fear of social groups. You've inspired me to go and read up about this, tackle it head on.

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  15. I'm so sorry to hear that you were bullied! It's going to need everyone to stop it for good.

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  16. Bullying is something so horrible. It destroys happiness and the innocence of a personal. Thank you for voicing your words about this topic! Thought provoking post.

    Aishah
    www.grainsandgains.com

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  17. May Allah send you people who will love and accept you for who you are. This life in the Dunya is after all a test for all of us. You are ma sha Allah a very resilient individual. I was in an abusive situation when I was very young and have thought about ending my own life. I remember praying so hard, that finally the people who belong in my life now are those who really care alhumdulillah. I'm here if you need anyone to talk to.

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  18. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. It really upsets me whenever I hear stories on bullying - the sad thing is that even adults bully other adults - you'd think these things stop once you leave school but sometimes it doesn't. Support is absolute key for someone getting bullied. Especially with kids where they sometimes can't see/think past their pain :(

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  19. This made me so sad! Must have been so hard for you. I hope no child ever has to go through emotional bullying!

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  20. Being blessed with simple things in life is always taken as granted....after reading this...I wonder how it would be when you are with no friends....I am happy that you have come over it...rather than slipping into depression....Thank you for sharing ths story which have the positive ending....May Allah SWT bless you in abundance and reward you with his choicest blessings....

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  21. This is something that we should talk about rather than making fun of it!
    It feels really sad to hear something like that but I am happy that you didn't give up & made friends.You know you are strong.Thank you for this post,I hope people will share this.

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  22. I am so sorry to read this because I can imagine that how awkward it was?

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