Proactive Parenting: Breaking A Shy Child's Shell

12 July Ayesha Farhad 2 Comments

Humans come in all shapes and sizes. Some are large; some are small. Some are confident; others aren’t. With children, we often make the mistake of expecting them all to have the confidence of youth. Hormones have yet to kick in, and for all intents and purposes, they should be at ease making friends. But, any parent of a shy child will tell you that things aren’t that clear cut. In many ways, shy kids have a tougher time than anyone. Adults and fellow children alike approach them like they’re another breed. They’ll find it hard to reach out and could become lonely fast if you don’t take action.

That’s right; as a parent, it’s your job to bring your shy child out of their shell. At this stage, they still rely on you. If you don’t act now, they could be in for a life of struggling to reach the world around them. And, many of us know how tough that can be. That’s why we’ve put together a list to help your shy child. It won’t work wonders, but it will go some way towards helping them break their barriers.

Build Their Confidence

Before you take proactive steps, build your child’s self-confidence. Often, this is at the root of shyness. We all fear rejection, and the chances are that your kid’s no different. Of course, building confidence in a child isn’t easy. They have yet to experience the issues which lead to low confidence in many of us. So, it can be harder to find a cure. For the most part, you should reaffirm their strengths. Tell them daily what you love about them, and tell them how much others would like those things too.

Take Them Out Of Their Comfort Zone

People with confidence issues build comfort zones as a defense mechanism. But, those zones only work to reaffirm their lack of belief. The chances are, your child has created a few of these, too. It’s up to you to break them before they become established. Taking your child to new environments is your best bet. You could take them to a new town, or for local family days out to trampoline parks, soft play areas and many more. The more they experience, the less afraid they’ll become. And, you’ll be there if they do start feeling uncertain.

Arrange Playdates

This last step is the most important; arrange playdates. This may not have been on your parenthood list, but it’s necessary. As they can’t reach out at the moment, you need to do it for them. Of course, if you go around asking children you don’t know back to play, it would look a little strange. Instead, get talking to parents when you go for those days out mentioned above. Ask them round for coffee, and get them to bring their child, too. If your little one panics about the date, convince them that the guests are coming to see you. That way, there'll be less pressure.


  1. When I was at school, all the teachers used to think I was shy! They even used to often write that in my report card but personally I think they should have changed their way of approaching such students. I think teachers (even parents) should be trained for dealing with students and should motivate them, rather than giving negative comments because I feel being called shy was something not positive to me. Useage of words with children can make or break them.

  2. As the mum of a very shy child I totally agree with this, giving them more self confidence and experience both help greatly x