Parenting for 5 years has taught me a lot.

I have been a parent for nearly five years. That feels so weird saying it out loud. I have never been so consistent with anything in my life except being a parent but hey, to be fair, there is no way out of it - So I don't have much say?

But having said that, being a parent has truly evolved me as a person. From being the loud, selfish, snobby person, I have kind of changed? I do get pretty selfish sometimes when he needs my food. I really don't like sharing food. I mean, cant a mother just have a hot cuppa with some chocolate chip cookies in peace? Yep. That is one thing that I have learned. You don't get to eat junk food alone. Somehow, someway, even in mid-sleep, they sense your excitement over opening up a packet of crisps and within a blink of an eye, they are right next to you!!! HOW?!

However, there are some amazing things as well that I have learned and that have moulded me into a better person and a better parent.

Patience. A father probably won't have that much patience when compared to a mother. Many do, but not many. Every single thing takes time. From being a new mother and not knowing what lays ahead to having a four-year-old wanting to have a full blown conversation about poo without you interfering in between WHILE you have your food. Or when you are constantly nagging them to put their shoes on and time just standstills for them. They will wear their shoes like Flash when they need to go to the park but God forbid if you ask them to dress up quickly because they are getting late for school. Patience is when you can watch Moana ten times in a row in a single day without losing focus. Patience is when you watch them build a whole lego set while you hold on to your itch to finish it in seconds. Patience is when you step on a lego and it takes the entire energy in your body to stop screaming FUCCCKKK. Parenting teaches you patience like no other life stage can.

You suddenly become more kind towards your surroundings. When your child starts analysing the world on their own, you feel that switch in your ways. You feel the need to be more kind in every manner of your move. Simple things like saying thank you and please come naturally to you even if they didn't before. You go out of your way to help people. You smile at people more often and you become more empathetic to other mums around. Before, judging parents used to come easy but when you have your own child, you relate to their situation. And when they look like they are about to cry and give you an exasperated look, you smile at them and with that smile, you tell them that it is going to be okay. You make an effort to create an environment good enough for your child. You start using products that are environmentally friendly. You pick up the trash and recycle more so that your child learns more of these things. You unintentionally become more aware of your surroundings to give the best to your child.

Parenting keeps your emotions in check. This does not apply to a lot of people because I am a part of a few parenting groups and mothers are always posting about how their emotions are all over the place but for me, being a parent has taught me to keep my emotions in check. I used to be a very rowdy person with a personality that no one could diffuse. But after becoming a mother, I have learned how to control my anger, my rage and a few my mood swings. Even if I want to bawl out in the middle of the day, I don't find myself crying in front of my son. If I am angry, I channel it out somewhere else or some other way. I don't channel it out on my son. When I was pregnant and was reading through a group, one lady mentioned how she saw some woman fighting with her husband in the car park and she pushed her child in the car seat. That scenario has always stuck with me. I always make sure that no matter how angry I am, I will never channel my anger on my child. Why should the child bear the consequences of your relationship with your partner?

It makes or breaks your relationship with your partner. Many of you know that I conceived very quickly even though we had planned to wait for a couple of months but God had better plans for me. However, we didn't agree with the same parenting plan. Alhamdulillah, my husband is very hands-on with parenting. A trait we usually don't see in South-Asian fathers but mostly because we live away from home and in a judgement free zone. But having that said, my husband and I are not on the same page of parenting. I encourage free play and less helicopter parenting while my husband encourages controlled play and making sure that Azlan is under his nose all the time. We initially didn't agree on it. We used to have so many arguments related to how certain things should be done but over time we have fallen into the comfort of knowing that we are doing the best we can for our child. But even though we are on different levels of parenting we are on the same page of it as well. I have developed a different bond with my husband knowing that both of us will have each other's back no matter what.

Every stage of life is a different one and it teaches you and moulds you differently. But parenting is one thing that is forever and will forever be teaching you life lessons, changing your perceptions and making you a different person with every stage.

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