I am done with trying to lose weight!

I am giving up today. I gave up a few months back but I am officially giving up today. Losing weight is hard work. Especially when you have a very very slow metabolism. I am currently waiting on a few blood tests that will further shed light on why I can't lose weight but even if there is nothing wrong, I just can't seem to give it my 100%.

The thing is that whenever I tell people that I just can't lose weight anymore, I get advice on what to do and what not to do. What to eat and what not to eat. What diet to follow and what exercises I should try. It gets exhausting and then getting judged for having no motivation is the absolute worst. Even while typing this out I feel embarrassed to admit that I haven't given in my 100%.

It is not that I am lazy. I am running around the house. I am cleaning from top to bottom. I do cardio. I walk. I try and eat healthily. I do get my strength workouts in but it just isn't working out for me. (this pun would have been funny for me on days when I am not exhausted but I just can't be bothered at the moment).

Does anyone else feel like me or is it just me?

I mean, I have done lots of fitness blender workouts but they make me gag so much or they probably are really boring with zero music and just lots of huffing and puffing. I have done one round of Jillian Michaels 30 day shred and that was that. On countless occasions, I have tried doing the shred again but I just slowly and very conveniently back out of the routine and then I keep hearing 'its ONLY 20 minutes, Ayesha! why can't you do it?'

Having said that, although I am not actively trying to lose weight, I am definitely making some changes in my lifestyle to achieve a healthier one. I do make better food choices at the moment: instead of having a cheesy pasta, I will take up on the offer of having a good salad. I have cut down having three to four cups of tea every day to one morning cup of tea. Soda has been completely eliminated from my food choices. I will although have the occasional coke zero, maybe once a month. Instead of taking the bus for the school run, I have been walking a mile towards the school. Instead of going chocolate binging, I have a cup of green tea to settle my cravings.

A year back, I asked my husband to take a treadmill off a friend who was looking to sell it and its currently sitting in the shed for the past few months but now it is out and ready to be used all over again. I am currently on a 7 day challenge with a couple of people and just taking time to see how the new exercise routine works. We are on day 3 currently so, so far so good.

The thing is, I feel confident in my body. Of course, there are days when I wish I was thinner so I wouldn't look huge in thick knit jumpers. But for some reason, I am not going to cry about my body while looking in the mirror. I won't starve myself or deprive myself of cake when the craving hits.

However, there might come a time when I will take it all seriously and lose the 10kgs I am supposed to lose to reach my pre-pregnancy weight. That is currently not happening so, if you see me walking around happy and blissful, don't come around with your spite and rain on my parade.

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